One of the greatest shortcuts to feeling good about myself is complaining about you. I don't have to put salt on the table by doing an actual activity to gain self worth, I can just fill the air with my hateful words about you. I am like a flower that smells like how bad you are.

Using my words this way worked great for me back when I was a pastor talking about other denominations; not so much when I went to prison for being a pedophile pastor. I had no one else left in line to complain about. Thankfully politics gave me a whole new list of names.

I had a pocket radio in prison and it was always tuned to talk. After prison I continued my radio obsession another year because parole hadn't yet allowed me back on the internet. I listened to Rush Limbaugh complain about the left being too easily offended. I listened to NPR get offended at Rush. I listened to Rush get offended at Colin Kappernik which made me feel better than Rush, which was the purpose of my radio habit. I wasn't listening to follow. I was listening to complain. These talking heads could learn so much from me!

In prison I argued politics in order to feel better than my fellow inmates. I didn't always win but when I did it made me feel like it was all a mistake that I was in prison in the first place and any minute now a guard would come along and usher me out. After all, if I was better than all those talking heads on the radio who weren't even in prison, than why should I be here? (I mean besides my sex crimes.) Politics helped me move up incredibly fast in the complaints department. I would be President Pedophile soon enough!

Speaking of pedophile presidents, Trump was another guy who could learn a thing or two from me. I was in the day room of the prison's therapy wing for sex offenders when I heard Trump on the TV say that “all pedophiles are psychopaths.” That did not sit well with me. By this time I was beginning to like Trump and how could someone I like hate me? That's not possible! I would prove him wrong. I would love Trump even though he hated me in order to prove that I was just a pedophile, not also a psychopath.

After a year on parole I was armed once again with the internet. So I dug even deeper into politics. Beginning in March of 2018 I gave myself a history lesson of the world since March of 2014. I saw how the TV and the radio portrayed a different Trump than the Trump online. Online Trump is a God Emperor with armies of Pepes, Anons, and Trolls at his guard! It felt like a welcome community. Trump felt like a Savior.

A friend suggested I check out Q and I was hooked. Soon I was virtue signaling past Hillary Clinton because she ate babies in a DC dungeon, and I zoomed passed Obama because I never spent $65000 on hot dogs and walnut sauce, and then I whooshed passed Shifty Adam Schiff the pedophile, which, um, hey, that hit a little close to home, but yeah, I was definitely on board with pedophile politicians being worse than pedophile pastors. I was movin' on up with the Jeffersons!

Until I realized Q was a liar. (No Q, we didn't go to the moon.) Which meant Trump was a liar. Which meant Space Force was a farce! Which meant everyone Q and Trump complained about might not actually be worse than me. Including Rosie O'Donnell. Which meant I was probably a psychopath. Which meant it was time to whack off again.

That's the thing about complaining your way to the top: every single one of the complaints is a lie and eventually it will all come falling down. In politics it is lies all the way to the top. I thought Trump and Q were truthers when really they were just really good salesmen.

My life of politics after prison had begun to look a lot like my unbalanced life prior, which was basically a stack of lies propped up with nonsense waiting to fall over. After realizing that Trump along with all “global” leaders were actually liars, I realized I had to get out. Except that I didn't want to get out. It felt so good to be in!

I spent another year in Trump's army feeling good about being better than Polosi. I finally made the decision in November of 2019 to stop watching the world stage completely. It took a bit but I got out. I had to. Everyone “in” is a liar.

In this comic for example, every talking head in that line is a liar. In the first panel the line is not “taking forever.” That's hyperbole. In the second panel there weren't “a lot of complainers” until that guy complained. Rinse and Repeat in the third panel. The Man With Tie in the fourth panel is also lying. He says there is no one left to complain to when in fact there are lots of people to hear his complaint: you the Reader for one, or he could just turn around and complain to the line he's in! His lie is that pathetic. And it's pathetic liars all the way down.

There was a hidden blessing to my involvement in Trump's complaint department. Once I saw that engaging in the lies of liars made me a liar just like them, well, that killed my ego again. Because the ego death I experienced in prison wasn't enough apparently. That's OK. A life well lived will have many ego deaths.

I realized that lies didn't make me better than others. Or maybe I RE-learned this truth because this is kindergarten level stuff here. If I want to have worth in this realm then I have to prove my salt with action, not lies. So through a process of repentance and gratitude, I put my big boy pants on and got to work creating again. It is my goal to build on a foundation of the good, the true, and the beautiful. Which is what my Creator made me to do in the first place. Weird how that works out.